Living On Purpose

• Know what your soul longs for •

• Say YES to things that get you closer • Say NO to things that don’t •

Make Choices that Create the Juicy Life of your Dreams~ ON PURPOSE


Haley, my niece, just turned 16………………………………………. and I don’t really know her.

I have been to all the birthday parties……..witnessed most of the milestones………..but…….

somewhere along the way, I have missed KNOWING her.

When she was born, my sons were little.  Johnny, was 3 ½ years old and Joey had just turned 2.  I was busy fulfilling my dream of being a mother…….

…………….DOing exactly what I wanted to be doing…….
………………………I was in my twenties……..with 2 toddlers…….a puppy

…….and a husband who worked……A LOT………
……………………………….responding to life……… minute by minute………24/7……

If I am honest, Haley simply didn’t make the list.  If I am brutaly honest……..

and this is going to hurt to admit…..

during that time of my life……….. no one in my extended family made the list.

Please understand.…… I LOVE my family!  Each and every one of them…… AND…..

I actually LIKE them too.

and that has nothing to do with it.

Like many people, “My list” was not consciously chosen……..rather it was formed……..check list

…………………slow and steady………
………………………..marching forward…..
………………………………..while making my own life…….
………………………………………….that kind of choosing-but not really choosing……..

And in many ways, it was a great. I made life-long friendships, created wonderful communities……

I grew up………..

……………..And so did Haley ………….


 

Haley is turning 16.  And I don’t really know her.

My soul is longing to know her.

Now what?


Fortunately for me, 16-year-olds find themselves grounded from time to time. Haley is no exception.  Knowing that she is on lock-down for the weekend (and the next and the next 😉 ), I invite her for a sleep-over.  Eager for a change of scenery, she enthusiastically says “YES!”

A few weeks prior, I read an article from the New York Times titled, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.”  It is about a scientific study that created a series of 36 questions to make people fall in love.  The questions are a perfect example of simple brilliance.  Nothing earth shattering or mind blowing.  The genius is in how one question builds upon the next and invite the participants to see each other on a deeper, more intimate level……..or……….invites them to KNOW each other…….. quickly.

SERENDIPITY for me!  I want more of this with everyone in my life; not just the love of my life!

I had high hopes that these 36 questions would work on ALL of my relationships.  I was eager to test my theory that deep connection and KNOWING could be created between any two people who were willing to invest the 2-3 hours required to complete the 36 questions.

Haley was my first guinea pig.

Thankfully she was a good sport about sitting down with her Aunt Wendy for a few hours and indulging my hypothesis.

What happened next was nothing short of a miracle.
miracle

We sat on my couch…….. just the two of us….. and began going through the questions.  We talked about what we are grateful for and what famous person we would like to have dinner with.  The conversation was sweet and thoughtful and filled with the little nuances that, more often than not, go unseen.

Each question is a little more probing than the previous one.  Before I know it, we are sharing intimate little pieces of our hearts with each other.  What is most important in a friendship?……..How we suspect we will die…..Our worst memory ever…….

Tears of joy and sorrow begin to flow as each of us reveal to the other the fabric of our soul.  The parts that we keep hidden for no other reason than a lack of opportunity to share them.

We discover stuff that we have in common.  Our human longing to be seen and heard.  How we sometimes feel lonely even when surrounded by loved ones.  How our hearts hurt when people around us are suffering and the thought of being the cause of that suffering is unbearable.  How we both feel somehow odd and separate from everyone else.

We talk about how loving someone and knowing them don’t always go together.  We both wish that those around us just instinctively knew when and what we need without our having to ask.  We walk around as if we have it all together and sometimes that doesn’t match what is going on inside of us.

We laugh.  We cry.

We rode the wave of genuine curiosity and love for each other; dipping down into the darkness and rising up into the sunlight.

I felt seen and heard and known by Haley and I believe she felt the same.  3 hours, 36 questions, I fell in love with my beautiful sweet niece.

Now when I see her, I SEE her.

I SEE Haley’s kind heart.  It has been singed, ever-so-slightly, but not burned or broken.  Not yet anyhow.

In 16 years, she has earned some wisdom, but time has not stolen her innocence.

She is definitely not a child, but her eyes sparkle like one.

She is optimistic and hopeful.

She is both confident and self-doubting.

She is a loyal friend and will keep your secret.

She does not want a crystal ball because that might stop her from going for her dreams.  (I especially love this about her.)

She loves her family more than anything else on this earth.

She knows that she is loved and sometimes that doesn’t feel like quite enough.

Haley is a normal 16 year old girl

and an extraordinary person

and I am so grateful to KNOW and LOVE her.


What are you willing to do to Live on Purpose?  I would love to hear your story.

 

Authenticity, Vulnerability, Empowerment
LIVING ON PURPOSE
One Daily Shift at a time.
I practice it.
I coach it.

All my love and gratitude,

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