It has been 6 months since my last blog.  How is that even possible?

The truth of the matter is that I have been in a BIG transition.  My youngest son, Joey, graduated from high school, moved out of my house and has gone away to college.

My nest is empty.

The last 6 months have been filled with a lot of celebrations and more than a few tears.  True to form, I have bungeed back and forth from filling every second with fun distractions to hiding alone in my office.

closets are purged

drawers are organized

I have spent more nights in my boyfriends bed than in my own.

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Jax & Luna…sister labs

Did  I mention that I also added 2 chocolate lab puppies to my life?  That my have to be another story, but here they are in all of their cuteness……

…………Then that all too familiar voice started stirring inside of me……nudging……

“get on with it already!  enough is enough!”

……BIG RESISTANCE……I am not ready…..I want to protect my heavy heart not share it with you people.
So I settled in…..started writing Morning Pages and taking myself on Artist’s Dates.….

I let myself off the hook to hide and to just BE……….Honestly, it lasted a little longer than I thought it would.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

A few days ago, me, Tony and his son Luke loaded up the car and headed to The University of Arizona for family weekend with Joey.

We had so much fun.  We ate steak….played golf….and watched the Bear Cats decisively beat the Beavers.  We walked around campus and checked out Joey’s new digs.  I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face and I didn’t want to.  As it does when you are having fun….time flew.

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We woke up early Sunday morning…… got on the road to come home.  Sitting in the car watching the sun rise over the orange and gold Arizona mountains, something began to shift inside of me.  An uncomfortable new sense of my world started to settle in.

Joey is carving out his life……Johnny (my 20 year old son) has been doing that for over 2 years now.  My job……mothering as I know it……is done.

For the past 20 years, I have been the creator of life, the nurturer, the chef, the singer, the chauffeur, the doctor, the listener, the lecturer….I have bit my tongue and I have let it fly….I was brilliant and I was awful…..

and I LOVE being a mother.

and like a child’s favorite thread barren blanket…….the source of so much comfort…….the one thing that can make  everything feel better……….until it can’t……..until it shouldn’t……

yes- that’s the one

………………that’s how I feel right now.


 

LIVING ON PURPOSE
One Daily Shift at a time.
I practice it.
I coach it.

All my love and gratitude,

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